Striking Out Shame

Welcome to a New Year! New life. New growth. New adventures. New discoveries. New…

My hope around this blog is that readers will find helpful tools or insights that they can apply to their own relationships. I want to strikeout shame and the toxic environment it creates in our lives. I especially want to strikeout shame triggers that can dump a boat load of icky feelings in the middle of our lives whenever we get tripped up by people, events, or certain situations. My continued thanks to Derek Wolf, a social media guru and friend, who posts these blogs every week.

I’m going to branch out this year. I’m going to post a video blog – I guess it’s called a “vlog.” I’ll title it “Striking Out Shame.” You Tube will be the platform. I envision the vlog to be about 5-7 minutes and will be very similar to these blogs. So similar, in fact, that you will actually hear a lot of what I write in these pages. It’s like that, isn’t it? Once I say something or write something, I think, “oh, I wish I had said thus-and-so.” I’ll look forward to your responses to my “thus-and-so” comments. Plus, I know there are people who simply like visual and/or audio input for taking in information and loathe reading. (You could share the vlog option with people like that…). I’d love to get the kinesthetic learners on a ropes course or in a kayak somehow. Maybe I’ll figure out a way to do that this year. I also plan to post more of my speeches to the website so you can see what I am like “in action” and to stimulate thoughts of scheduling me for an event where you are.

A reminder as we kick off a new year: Shame is a feeling often triggered by an event, person, situation or words that in turn carries a boat load of icky feelings. These icky feelings are attached to memories – a memory of being hurt, scared, lonely, discounted or a host of others. So we talk of shame triggers. Shame is not that I’ve done something wrong or that I am a bad person. It’s the sense that I can never measure up, no matter how hard I try. I am not worthy of any award or recognition. I’m defective. I’m inadequate.

We live in a shame-based culture. Our economic system creates a sense of scarcity and a drive for us to get our piece of the pie. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is central to the frantic consumerism we just saw last month (December) and can push people beyond the limits of their family budget. “Sinners in the hands of an angry God” where people are “totally depraved” and completely unworthy forms the core theological tenets of many people’s religious beliefs. The difficulty with this point of view is that not only can a person never measure up financially (there’s a sense that “I’m always falling short”) but now that person can NEVER measure up in the eyes of God. It’s a double whammy. We’ll unpack that over the course of the next few weeks.

Baseball will once again come to the rescue. Life lessons for the Little Leaguer in all of us abound in baseball. You’ll realize results you never thought possible, thanks to the language and culture of baseball. Stick around! I’m glad you’re here! Let’s strike out shame in 2019!

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